Recently, I saw a little phrase on the internet, it read: “Home is where you find peace.”

If this is true, then I do not have a home. I don’t believe I’ve ever had a home and maybe, I never will. I am, for the most part, happy with C. But to be at peace with yourself requires so much more than a good relationship and someone to love. You need to love yourself, you need to believe in yourself, and above all, you must not fear what lies ahead of you. You must not fear life, because if you do, you will always remain in the shadows. I know how large life can be, how much can be accomplished in the short time we exist, the memories we can make, the people we touch, the lives we change, and the futures we alter. But I cannot overcome the frailty and mortality of it all. Eventually, we will all be forgotten. After two or three generations, we will cease to exist. If you’re lucky enough to be written into the history books, then fine. But how rare is that? The scope of it, billions of people, as if they’ve never existed. Their memories, their lives, forgotten.

I do not fear death, I fear never living. I fear fading away, into some corner of the past, as just another face, another name, another corpse.

The burden of humanity, I suppose, is having the knowledge that one day, at any particular moment in time, you will cease to exist.

Best of days,

Righ Elias

“There is accumulation. There is responsibility. And beyond these, there is unrest. There is great unrest.”- The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes